You’ve found your way here today because you have reached a crossroads in your life, either
In a relationship that feels like it isn’t working or
Experiencing burnout or emptiness in a career that once you found exciting and
Have had the opportunity to come face to face with your soul alone in the deep dark night and you felt so alone
You wonder how you got here… trapped in a life just isn’t working for you anymore!
And now you realize YOU WANT MORE.
After 22 years of marriage, discovering a huge betrayal by my husband, and finding out we had $100K+ in credit card debt, it all came crumbling down. When I saw how long it had been going on — the secret spending of money and the lack of connection between us — it explained so much. And it hurt like hell.
But I can honestly say it was one of the worst and best days of my life!
For more than four decades, I had lived my life for everyone else and I didn’t even realize how unhappy I was until I got that big wake up call.
I had lost myself so far that my life didn’t even make sense anymore, and it certainly wasn’t working for me.
Here’s how my years went:
Hustle at work. Try to keep everyone happy.
Do everything I can to be an amazing mom and wife.
Drop in bed exhausted and do it again the next day.
I rationalized I had had my fun and now it was my son’s turn.
I rationalized I had to continue making more and more money, even though there was a deep hole in my soul.
Over time, feelings of deep sadness and disconnection set in. Not being fulfilled in my work and home life made me feel like a fraud. I felt lonely even with people. I wanted to cry often and couldn’t produce any tears. I was angry and resentful. I truly wondered – is this really all there is?
I had never learned to ask for what I wanted. I never learned it was okay to speak my truth. I never learned I was capable of far more than I realized. I was never taught to believe in or to love myself.
One day, I noticed a series of withdrawals from our checking account …to a local strip club. Curious, I kept looking. I later found out my husband had been going to those places for years.
Needless to say our sex life was nonexistent at the time, and of course I was wondering what was wrong with me – did I not look good anymore, did I not satisfy him, or, or, or?
At age 52, just after leaving my corporate job, I was facing the possibility of divorce (after 20 years) and no means of support.
I felt angry, devastated, and very vulnerable.
I thought I would never be able to forgive him. I thought he had a big problem and needed to get some help.
Because we were over $100k in credit card debt, I was out of corporate, and our son was soon to go to college, we found a way to coexist together but separately under one roof for the time.
I had to figure things out for me. For years I wanted him to change, to make me feel loved and special to him.
For years, working jobs I didn’t love, I had lost myself to the point I had no idea what I really wanted anymore.
At this point, I realized that I had never really focused on me and what I want, and it was about damn time! I was also realizing… the only one I could really change was ME.
I set on my own journey to find me, and to know what I really wanted.
Very early in my journey I was given a clue that changed my life. Hearing this for the first time pissed me off – No one can betray you but you.
Journaling the ways I had betrayed myself all those years, I did the ugly cry for hours.
So much TRUTH, so much pain came to the surface for acknowledgement and release.
I began to let go of resistance and anger and started to release it. My problem was I spent my entire life trying to make other people happy, ignoring my own needs, and wondering why I was miserable.
Change didn’t happen overnight and it certainly wasn’t simple. I found tools, mentors, coaches and new ways to transform my thinking, my emotions, and my perceptions in life.
Being a victim, complaining, doing what others expected of me wasn’t going to work anymore.
When I transformed betrayal into gratitude and unconditional love and acceptance for what happened, everything changed.
The life I longed for began to take shape – because I stopped focusing all my energies on trying to make everyone else happy and gave myself permission to focus on me and what I wanted, to use my voice and ask for what I wanted and needed, and to stop hiding my spirituality, my intuition, my innate gifts and wisdom behind all the “doing” I had been living for everyone else.
I realized that the only one holding me in chains was ME.
Transformation happened over time as I grew in my TRUTH and my own confidence and trust in myself.
Knowing who I really am and loving myself opened new insights and doors for me. The Transformation Coach I wanted to be 10 years earlier started to call to me again. This time I acknowledged her, loved her, and believed in her.
I recreated my life – from sad, disconnected, angry, wondering if this was all there is, and on the brink of divorce in my 50’s to loving my life and doing work I love with clients I love, and having the relationship that I’ve wanted, with my husband now of 31 years.
I discovered what matters MOST to me and to started living from that place. I make time each day to do what matters most to me.
That is the MORE my soul was calling for. When I honored that, everything in my life (relationship, career, everyday life) fell into place in a wonderful way.
Today am that Spiritual and Transformation coach, using all the tools and learning that I mastered during that transformational time for me.
My wonderful husband magically became wonderful again after I did the work on me. We’ve now been married 30 years. The best ones have been the latest ones.
I own that I am a free spirit, designed to live a more expansive life in alignment with what matters most to me as I support others in doing the same so that they too can tap into and live from what MATTERS MOST to them.
After over 15+ years of study, helping others, and walking the talk, I’ve activated my power and sharpened my skills to find that it’s safe to say YES to myself and my dreams. Not only is it safe, but it’s the most earth friendly, responsible and fulfilling way to live. Me living a fulfilled and happy life serves everyone far better than me trying to please them.
As a coach, I help you align your thoughts, feelings, and actions with your values and dreams so you can lead the fulfilled and satisfying life that you long for, by doing what matters most to you, and have the relationship that you really want, freeing yourself from the chains you have been holding yourself in.
Seeking validation, placing your focus on others, looking outside of yourself might be holding you back. It’s your journey and your “matters most” that matters most.
It is a process, one to be savored and enjoyed, not feared and denied. It’s not the end goal that matters as much as who you become in the process.
If you are ready for your own transformation – to be the woman who lives a life you absolutely love, you’re in the right place.
YOU are done with your past, done with being tired and emotionally drained.
YOU are done with people-pleasing and living to the expectations of others.
YOU are done pretending your needs, dreams, and desires aren’t THAT important.
How will it feel to jump out of bed each morning excited about your life because you know what you want and are going for it?
How will it feel to be happy and fulfilled, contributing from your gifts and talents?
How will it feel to be energized every day because who you are and what you do matters?
How will it feel to be confident and free in expressing who you really are to the world?